Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. —Dalai Lama

Mathew Nelson grew up in California to parents born in Wisconsin (so he shares a bit of their mid-western charm but with a west coast attitude). With not many career options having graduated with a BA in Philosophy, he caught the travel bug early in life roaming through South America and spending a fair bit of that time in Argentina. He eventually settled down back in the US long enough to have a “job” and “career” to fund more travel. With that nonsense out of the way, he hit the road again but this time to the East, east of the US I mean, Europe, and has been seeking adventure, fortune a good meal ever since.

(*Note)

Sometimes an individual, for whatever reason, makes a lasting impression on us

Mat shares a story of such an individual from his San Francisco days.

John

By Mat Nelson

I’ve seen John walking up and down Folsom Street for years. I’ve been here 20 years and he’s been here that entire time. He always is using his walker and alternates between his oversized SF Giants jacket and his oversized Philly Eagles jacket. Most of the time he has plastic grocery bags hanging off the handles of his walker, either Grocery Outlet or Win Co. Over the years, his posture has changed, and he is mostly looking down at the ground these days. But he keeps moving remarkably. My goal, as I age, is to keep as active as him. He is a fixture and doesn’t stop. You rest, you rust. (So I’ve heard)

April 2022 – I was startled by a loud thud as I was sitting on my living room couch. The sound came from right outside. Typically, that means someone is doing something near my garage door that I’m not going to like. As I stepped outside and looked around from my elevated door stoop, I saw John lying on the ground, on the sidewalk out front, with a pool of blood coming from a gash on the top of his head. I ran down in my socks and sweats to help. Holding a rag to his head to try to stop the bleeding, it didn’t seem to have much effect. The warm sticky blood was everywhere, and I was hoping that the call to 911 would have paramedics there in time.

I’ve never felt that much blood; my hands were in pools of blood. All of this was inside him and now it’s all over my hands and bandages. Strangely warm and thick and sticky. And it kept coming. I felt helpless and feared that I might be watching him die.

I suppose you could say this is when / where I MET John. He was conscious. I asked him if I could call a family member or friend, or if he was in pain. He was fumbling for some type of alert bracelet, but I told him an ambulance was on the way, at which time it showed up. He had lost a lot of blood, due to the thinners he was on, but seemed to be OK…I hoped. He was brought to San Francisco General, down the street, even though he’s a veteran.

With John safely away, I bleached and hosed the sidewalk off, then pulled the footage from my security camera. I’m no doctor but I would guess he had an “episode” and fell backwards. I assumed that his walker hit some sidewalk crack or rock, but no. He was walking along and simply folded up and went over backwards hitting his head on the door stoop of the neighbor’s shop. But he was alive.

I have been looking for him in the months since his spill. Hoping to see him trundling up and down Folsom. That finally happened this last week. I was so relieved. He had his Eagles jacket on and was on his way to the grocery store. We chatted for a bit. I wanted to make sure he had my number and let him know that I’m always around if he needs anything. Turns out he had been looking for me for some time. He thought I lived on the corner and had taken a post up on the stoop there a few times looking for me, putting notes in the mail slot. I mentioned that I had the video of his fall, and he asked me to drop it off at his apartment. His doctors wanted to see it. That happened today.

I also learned that John Drake was 82 and had lived on Folsom Street for 35 years. He had a large 2-bedroom place with amazing rent control. He says the landlords try to sneak in rent increases, but he has them talk to some lawyers and that shuts it down. He bought me a couple bottles of wine, some cookies and a nice 2023 USA calendar. He’s on my postcard list and I hope and expect that he will love to read about all the places I visit.

So, what are you doing with your time? I don’t mean that in a judgmental way. I mean, if you look at your life, what are you doing? Something you think is worthwhile? Meaningful? Helpful? Useful? Normally, I would have been at work that day instead of catching up with John. Is it realistic that we all quit our jobs and help our elderly neighbors? Of course not. I’m just so fortunate to have done the things that give me the latitude to help others. So glad to have the time to do this. It means everything.

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*Note: Mat is Joe’s 2nd cousin  🙂

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