Life as a Human

Some lighthearted quips, harvested from Joe’s many trips around the sun; more will be added from time to time 🙂

 

 

 

 

*When I’m tired of winter I spray myself down with insect repellent or rub myself down with sunburn lotion. (Follow this page for more useful hacks)

 

 

 

 

 

 

*The one sure thing extraterrestrials will provide, is someone else for humans to pick a fight with.

😉

 

 

 

 

*If I was doing any better they would either pass a law against it or tax it.

(This one is from Joe’s old friend Dave Wagenblatt. Joe and Dave served in the Vietnam War together)

 

 

 

 

 

*If I was a bird I wouldn’t be hanging around in no tree…I’d be flying my a.. off! 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

* I was never smart enough to be a crook or a politician. Forgive me if I’ve repeated myself.  😉

 

 

 

 

 

*If I did five good deeds everyday for the next fifty years, I’d still be in the hole. 😀

 

 

 

 

*The internet has done wonders to improve the character of man. Eh hem. 🙁

 

 

 

 

*I think we do some objectionable stuff out of boredom. (Stir that pot!)

 

 

 

 

*At this point am I still learning…or am I unlearning?

 

 

 

 

*I love the opportunities regarding space exploration. For instance, I think some people should be launched into space…and left there. 😛

 

 

 

 

*I don’t care to be the target of anyone’s anger or criticism; if I do it, however, there must have been a good reason.

 

 

 

 

*I never curse the referee’s when the call benefits my team. 😉

 

 

 

 

*If I didn’t do it this time, why can’t I wait till next time?

 

 

 

 

*There’s plenty of fish in the sea; they just don’t like my bait. 😀

 

 

 

 

*Every week new films, restaurants and various festivals pop up; how’d we spend all our time a hundred years ago?

 

 

 

 

*I love seeing all the old classic vehicles at car shows. When I remember the condition they were in when I owned them, however, my nostalgia quickly fades. 🙁

 

 

 

 

*Why do I always feel guilty when I use the “sneak a cup” feature on my coffee pot?

 

 

 

 

* A bald man purchasing shampoo is an example of long term memory over short term memory. 😛

 

 

 

 

*VA health care is like Forest Gump’s box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.

 

 

 

 

*If Amerigo Vespucci had been named Roberto Vespucci, we would be called Bobbicans?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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