What is heard is pushed, but what is read is pulled, into the mind.
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Dealing with a deaf person can be a real pain in the backside; repeating your sentences, getting their attention, talking to them on the phone, listening to the doorbell and phone ring unanswered.

I feel bad for my family and friends who have to deal with me…. Most of the time.  😉

My hearing was damaged in Vietnam in 1970 during an incoming rocket attack at the airbase where I was stationed. It was early morning and we got that kind of wakeup call from the Vietcong about once every two or three weeks. This attack caused a few fatalities, many injuries and substantial damage, so I was lucky considering what happened to many others that day.

After the attack, I couldn’t hear much of anything for about three days. I managed to carry out my duties etc. until after about five days my hearing returned to almost normal. After my one-year tour was up, I left Vietnam in one piece and never looked back. (Almost never)

My hearing was never quite the same after that incident, but it was never really problematic. I had difficulty with some venues, conversations and such, but most people never even knew I had a hearing issue.

Fast forward to 2001, a tough year in the U.S. after 9/11. Later in the same year I experienced a health event, which more or less caused my nervous system to go haywire. During this event my hearing significantly degraded. After a long period of time many of the issues relating to that event eased up and I was able to lead a normal life.

My ears

My hearing, however, continued to decline and I ended up with a hearing aid in one ear and a cochlear implant in the other. As most people with hearing impairment know, those devices improve your hearing, but do not return it too normal. Things become louder…. But not always understandable. Understanding human voices is the most problematic area for most folks with hearing problems. The many ranges, volumes, tones, accents, dialects, speeds… are not clear.

Now I will poke a bit of fun at myself in this article, regarding some of the misadventures and humorous events I’ve had because of the impairment. I can do this because I am no longer in the workforce or raising a family, or dealing with the day-to-day efforts required of today’s adult.

I belong to a deafness Facebook group which discusses every aspect of hearing loss in great detail and am fully aware of and empathetic to the struggles that many go through.

The clothes dryer loves my magnetic implant

Having said that, I will laugh at myself when my cochlear implant magnet flies off of my head when I’m too close to the furnace, clothes dryer or roof of the car.   😆

The hearing challenges I have require a breakdown into a few different categories:

• Things I simply cannot hear

• Things I hear, but can’t understand

• Things I hear, but can’t tell where they are coming from

• Things I hear, but shouldn’t  (Don’t want to!)

I can load and unload our dishwasher and curse it if things don’t always come out clean. 🤨 I can also start it…. But our dishwasher control lights are hidden when you close the door, so I cannot tell if it’s running without putting my hand on the door to feel the action. My daughter who lives with me ( and is my primary hearing aid) will often say “It’s running dad”.

I also don’t hear the tornado siren or emergency vehicle sirens unless they’re right on top of me.  🚓 We’ve had an active tornado season by us this year, and I’ve slept through most of them.   🌪️

I hear people speaking, often even when they mumble. I just can’t understand them. I’ll ask them to repeat it, and they crank up the volume…. I still can’t understand. (The frustration shows up here)

Is it the doorbell or the damn TV?

If the doorbell rings while I’m watching TV, I go to the door…. Then feel like a fool when I realize it came from the TV. On the other hand, when the doorbell rings in our home and I’m watching TV, I’ll often ignore it thinking it’s the TV. 🔔

Same with the phone. When someone’s phone on TV rings, I have to pick up my cell and see if the damn thing is flashing, vibrating whatever.  ☎️

I also have trouble figuring out who’s speaking, when in a group.

One of the most irritating things about being hearing impaired (deaf for those purists) is hearing all the crap I’m not supposed to hear. Buzzing, screeching, bells jingling, banging, all kinds of stuff emanates from those little monsters stuck in my ears. It’s a symphony of unpleasant noise from the moment I put them in till the moment I take them out at night. (After which I let out a big sigh of relief)

Sometimes I’ve sabotaged the units inadvertently; they’ve been in the swimming pool a few times, and through both wash and dry cycles a few times.  Amazingly, they still work.

And as much as I complain about them, the devices have improved my life. Particularly the Bluetooth feature which allows me to have a somewhat normal telephone conversation, and the ability to listen to music from the computer, or radio. And thank goodness for closed captioning, which isn’t always available, and doesn’t always work, but allows me to watch television, and even get a few extra laughs as the translations sometimes come out in unintended ways. 🫢 While horses chuff, people chortle or whistle a spritely tune, the entertainers sometimes say things that the captions don’t quite translate properly.  (Close your ears, kids) 😉

I hope all of my hearing-impaired peers, with the little wonders of technology stuck in their ears, are able to get a degree of relief in their lives as I have.

***

•Thanks go to my daughter JoAnn who helps me get through my book signings and many other day to day tasks.

•And thanks to my friend and fellow author Steve Tindall who also helps me get through book signings.

• The Veteran’s Administration is in the process of sending me an emergency alert device so I will be made aware of wake up alarms, storms and other emergencies of one kind or another.

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