What’s in a Name? Joe’s take on Shakespeare’s Comment

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Areas called “No Man’s Land” are usually so called due to the activity of man.

Well…who knew the new gnu?

If it isn’t a Budweiser, it must be a ….

They called it the “Highway of Death” for good reason.

Wars of Choice…. are seldom fought by those who chose them.

Why you dirty…….(fill in the blanks)

Some time ago I railed against a man made environmental disaster that had decimated a popular fishery . For my actions I was labeled a “tree hugger”.

More recently I applauded the efforts of a mining company in saving an old growth stand of pines near their operation. On this occasion I was likened to a “robber baron”.

Now, I may have hugged a few trees over the years, especially in my youth when I liked to climb them, but the act was only a matter of survival, I assure you. And although I certainly am guilty of having filched my share of office supplies on occasion, I “ain’t no Jesse James”, as they say.

I kind of like being called a “baron”, however I have never actually met one and other than watching the professional wrestler “Baron Von Raschke” mercilessly apply his claw hold on unwitting opponents, I have no experience in the area.

Rock….Paper…..Shears?

When I was a kid we had a pair of scissors at home. They were kept in a special drawer and only withdrawn at the approval of my mother, who among other things was the guardian of important stuff. They were much better than the tinny junk scissors we used for school work. Sometimes I would secretly open the drawer and take them out. I liked the solid feel and  weight of them.

Later in junior high school, I noted that some of our teachers referred to scissors as “shears”. These shears were treated with even more circumspect than my mother’s scissors in the guarded drawer at home. After that  I naturally associated shears with a special degree of importance…. “You may get the shears, Joseph.” …Right on Teach!

Later, working in industry I noticed that almost all scissors were referred to as “shears”. I believe “shear operator” had a certain impact, Vs “scissors cutter”. Better pay grade perhaps?

A cursory investigation finds that in theory, some define the distinction between scissors and shears by length, though not in practice. And yet many others separate the two by price, but here again a quick investigation reveals some very expensive scissors, along with some very expensive shears.

And another thing, why are they referred to as a pair? You only use one. The whole business is a shear mystery to me.

What about Fido?

People love their pets. The names of their pets sometimes reflect the pets personality…or the personality the pet owner wishes they had; Sparky, Smoky, Precious, Lucky.. for example. Other people use objects to name their pets; Tank, Diesel, to name a few.

And still others apply regal names to their furry friends; King, Duke, Lady, Prince being some of the more popular names of royalty we often find applied to our canine charges. Many dogs are named after other animals; Moose, Bear and Buck are popular monikers applied to our doggy chums .

Then there are those who simply apply “human” names to their canine companions; Hugh, Eugene, Victor….Joe??!

Big Shots

I’ve noticed over the years that many important men substitute initials for their given names. J. P. Morgan, E. F. Hutton, J. Edgar Hoover to name a few. I often wonder why and when the conversion was made. Is it determined by income? Age and income? Office location perhaps?

I’m thinking of converting to initials as well. J. F. Campolo Jr….I like that; very classy. Or for a little flare I’ll tack on an extra name at the end…..J. F. Campolo Jr. COOLIO…for example. As an aspiring rapper I think it would work, and as a bonus I could hold some book signings in the hood!

Too Hot to Handle

For many years Television stations featured a newscaster or two, a sportscaster and a weatherman. The newsies were the top dogs, commanding most of the programming time, usually followed by the sportscaster. The weatherman always came in last because….well….no one really took them too seriously. The weather was what it was. So the weathermen were usually a little quirky; they may have had a costume, a sidekick or some other gimmick to get people to watch.

That has changed in recent years; these days you have to have a “meteorologist”. The meteorologists are less fun; but no more accurate. They have a lot of nifty devices and use very impressive terms though. They tell us that’s important!

Many networks of late, realizing that people understand the truth about weather forecasts have come to offer a little “fluff” to smooth the hoax over a bit.

Flame War!

I often wonder what The Bard would say were he around today. With current politics and social instability as they are, anger and name calling are at fever pitch.The advent of the internet; featuring instant information and communication, along with the ability to remain anonymous has certainly played a roll in the phenomena.

We see an inflammatory news article, Facebook post or Tweet and immediately jump on one side of the camp,or the other, shooting flames from our computers and I-phones via social media or internet comment boards. Shakespeare would probably find the activity as irresistible as the rest of us do; using his keen observatory nature and sharp wit to skewer anyone crossing his path.

Oh cometh thou join the fun, Sir William!

Who?

John Wayne was a great actor; a tremendous film presence and an American institution. His memorabilia, often signed with his name or his moniker “The Duke” is as popular as ever. I wonder how popular all the coffee mugs, holsters, signed photos etc. would be if they were signed with his real name…Marion Morrison.

I spent six months with Nguyen Than Hoa before he was killed in the Vietnam War. I never learned how to pronounce his name, nor did he mine; however we understood each other well enough…..and I missed him when he was gone. (photo lost)

*Subdivisions are often named after the wildlife and fauna destroyed to create them.

*Some weapons systems are named after indigenous people who were chased off their land.

*Rhode Island is not an island.

*Since Columbus thought he landed in China in 1492, why aren’t the Indians called Chinese?

*If Amerigo Vespucci had been named Roberto Vespucci, we would be called Bobbicans?

Gotta love the Grandfolks!

*My paternal grandfather, Demetrius Campolo, was by all accounts, a tough character to live with and an even tougher character to like. He died the year I was born, but over the years, stories of his antics have rose to the surface.  My grandmother Jenny, his long suffering wife, apparently got some modem of revenge when he passed. She never cared for his given name and always called him Dominic, despite the fact that calling him Dominic brought her additional grief; a commodity which she and her fourteen children already had a surplus of. (largely thanks to Demetrius) … Nevertheless, after the passing of Demetrius, Grandma Jenny had “Dominic Campolo” inscribed on his tombstone……an act of defiance with an immortal flavor. Well played Grandma!

Houston, We have a Problem…

When I was in Vietnam, the Vietnamese would often point to the name tag on my uniform and make a rocket sound, while pointing their finger toward the sky. The Apollo space program was still in play and they apparently thought their was enough similarity in Apollo and Campolo to make the connection. Sometimes the Vietnamese were a hoot.

You Slay Me

Quite a few people have been executed for treason over the years. While some have been executed for your standard, garden variety “Treason”; others have had the distinction of being executed for “High Treason”. If I’m going to be heckled, drawn, quartered and then hung; hey, do me the honor; give me a “High”.